Have You Ever Loaded a 110 lb Lab, post surgery, Out of a Van By Yourself?

Rusty, my yellow lab, has bad hips. It’s common in pure bred labs. He got to the point where he was lifting his right, rear leg when he walked. We assumed his right hip was finally getting the best of him so we took him to a surgeon for assessment. To our surprise the surgeon told us it wasn’t his hips that were causing him discomfort. It was his knee! He said his hips should last his whole life. The knee on the other hand, would not. To our complete astonishment he said that he had an opening THE NEXT DAY! What surgeon has an opening that soon? It took us a month to get the appointment! We were thinking we could coast through the holidays before doing anything.

NOPE.

Rusty stayed over night and had the surgery the following morning. It took over FOUR HOURS!!!! I was going insane until they called. But I finally got the call and the next day I went to pick him up at the vet.

Now the problem with having a lab that weighs more than both your children combined, is lifting him. It took three of us to load him into the van. We all had beads of sweat on our foreheads after the event. In the time it took me to close his door, and return to my door, he moved from the middle seat to the back seat of the van! ARGH!!!!!!

F#$%! How in the hell am I going to get him out of the back seat all by myself when I get home? It was hard enough loading him when I had help! Crap. This sucks. The whole drive home he cried, which only made me more anxious for what would unfurl when I arrived at the house.

When the time finally came, I pulled up to the house. Luckily my husband drove his car to work so I was able to pull into the garage where the ground was flat and I wouldn’t have to do this on a grade. I finally decide I would find (or make) a ramp for Rusty. I opened the back door to the van and went to locate the materials I needed for the ramp. When I returned, to my dismay, Rusty had let himself out of the van! I panicked, but felt some relief. I immediately checked his leg and all was well.

Thank God!

It’s been a week and he is doing much better. He actually fights with the pit bull a little. We have to watch them closely, but he’s putting pressure on it and doing much better.

All That Glitters Isn’t Gold

So, I was preparing the house for Christmas and I came to the stockings. I noticed one of the stockings did not have a name printed on it. I grabbed my glue glitter pen and proceeded to inscribe the stocking. I finished the first letter and then the pen became blocked. I used a pin to try to extract the blockage. It did not work. I pushed harder and harder on the end of the pen, hoping the pressure would build and take out the hardened glue. Nothing. So I moved on to plan “B.”

Plan B involved going outside. I know how clumpsy I am and I’ve learned from my mistakes. I opened the sliding glass door and walked onto the deck. I closed the sliding glass door 95% of the way. I walked to the end of the deck and aimed the pen at the back yard. I proceeded to smash the pen with the heel of my shoe. To my dismay, the pen performed a 180 degree turn and aimed directly at the 5% open door! Holy crap!

I walked inside to survey the damage. There was glitter on the table, on the chairs, in the grout in the tile. Glitter was on the light above the table, the walls, the ceiling, and the dog! Glitter glue dries rather quickly. What we were unable to wipe up in less than 5 minutes had to be forced off using razor blazes. We did not actually discover the glue on the ceiling until hours later. At that point we had to pull out the electric sander, remove the glue, patch the spots and repaint the ceiling. I plan to repaint the kitchen wall today, as we wiped a little too hard on that wall!

One little “Martha Stewart” touch to my holiday decorating cost me countless hours of blood, sweat and tears! Not to mention it gave my husband a story to retell in front of all of our friends. Ugh! That has to be the worst part of the whole experience. I hate giving him any excuse to rattle me!

Happy Holidays. Beware the glitter…