Our tenant “Wheelie”

Ok, so it’s not entirely PC but we have a rugged, unkempt tenant who gets around in a wheelchair. So we call him “Wheelie.” Before you start bashing me, I fully believe Wheelie’s condition is his own fault. He’s extremely over-weight and his legs cannot support his massive body. He’s on disability so the county pays his rent. He’s also dumber than dog shit and lazy as can be.

Anyway, Wheelie is in the habit of calling us for every little goddamn issue that comes up. He’ll call to replace a lightbulb. He’ll call for a missing screw in the mailbox. He’ll call for people loitering in front of his house. You see my point? He’s the worst kind of annoying tenant.

Well, last week the fire alarm on the top floor starts to go off. Wheelie lives below it. The top apartment is empty. My husband has been prepping it for a new tenant. Wheelie knows the apartment is empty and realizes the alarm isn’t going off anytime soon. So rather than call my husband (who is literally 5 minutes away) Wheelie calls 911 (who responds 20 minutes later).

The fire department shows up and since no one is answering the door (well, duh it is vacant), they bash in the solid metal door. The impact is so alarming the frame of the door splits. They go in, replace the battery of the fire alarm, and leave. No one bothers to call my husband to report the incident – not the fire department, not Wheelie. How lovely.

My husband shows up at the apartment the very next day, ready to show it to a potential tenant. To his dismay the door is wide open and off the hindges! You can imagine what a selling point THAT was to the potential client. He walks downstairs and asks Wheelie if he knows anything about it. Wheelie states that he didn’t know what to do when the alarm went off so he called 911. My husband was livid! What a freaking idiot! He calls for the dumbest damn shit but when something involves trashing the apartment building he does nothing.

Needless to say the damage to the door was extensive and the entire thing needed to be replaced. Twelve hours and a few hundred bucks later , there was a new door. My husband is taking the money out of Wheelie’s security deposit under the condition called “stupidity.”

Why did we ever buy these units?